Saturday, January 03, 2015

This Little Word of Mine.....

A word a year. That has been my tradition for a number of years now. I started off in 2009 with INTENTIONAL. I wrote the following on Ali Edwards Blog: One Little Word

"Marnie Pouget

6 YEARS AGO
I am trying to decide between deliberate, intentional and choose. You could say I am deliberating about deliberate! I know the meanings are similar-it is the nuance of each word that I am trying to work out.
I read the challenge to my 11 year old son and he has chosen the word "attack". "As in attack the year. Do what you want to do. Get outside. Have fun. Maybe throw in a water park" (I'm hoping that throught he year he will decide to apply this word to his schoolwork as well!)"
I followed this with FOCUS, FOLLOW, ABIDEPURSUE, and finally  [learning to] LAUGH.
At the beginning of last year I envisioned our home filled with joy and times of laughter. Happiness overflowing from an easy life. HA! I guess that laughing during the easy times doesn't need to be learned - it flows freely and abundantly. 
You have to learn to laugh in the tough times. That's the training ground. You know the old saying "no pain, no gain"? Well, there were some easy times of joy and peace but mostly 2014 seemed full of difficult challenges that pushed me to seek joy and trust God. If I am honest, I didn't to either as well as I would have liked.
I started my year with a trip to Ottawa. I love our nation's capitol and am thankful that I get to experience it's beauty each year. I love my boss and the people I work with.
Then in February, McKenna competed in the Shining Star Competition. She didn't get beyond the preliminaries but she met her goals and certainly made us proud. We enjoyed Winter Jam 2014 in Detroit.
This year I had the privilege of counselling two amazing groups of young women for Spring and Fall Purity and Holiness retreats at BLBC"I laughed, I cried. They moved me..."
My beautiful girl graduated from Grade 8 and it was so much fun to find a dress, have manicures together, get her hair done and celebrate this milestone. 

We spent a ton of our summer at BLBC - exhausting but fulfilling. I love this ministry and the people there.
Leo and I got away for an overnight vacation in September. It was relaxing and lovely to spend time just the two of us.
We replaced our van. It was an incredible faith walk that was stressful in the midst but a joy at the end.
The holidays were full of family and friends. More restful in some ways than other years but extremely full of visiting and travel. A lovely way to end the year.
These were my "highs". 
If I could settle in on the laughter through these times I would say I had done well however, life is full of peaks and valleys. Highs and lows.
My "lows" included way too much snow and though I enjoy the occasional snow day, last year they were a little much. 
The van breaking. 
The freezer reaching its end. 
Financial stress. 
Moving two steps forward and then falling back, sometimes further than I had gained. 
Changing friendships. Sometimes forcing me into a very "alone" place.
There were too many deaths in 2014. It seemed that there was always a funeral to attend and a loss to mourn including those of my aunt from my mom's family and my uncle from my dad's family, within a few weeks of each other. Though often there was the celebration of a home-going, the loss was tangible and raw.
I also experienced two very heavy seasons of uncontrollable sadness - not diagnosed depression, but overwhelming sadness that required significant breaks from everyday life. I am thankful for my friends that intervened and my family that loved and supported through those seasons.
It was hard to laugh during those times.True laughs of joy not the bitter laugh of unbelief and cynicism. It would be easy to take the hard days and allow bitterness to get a firm grip choking the joy and the laughter from even the good times. I chose not to harbour bitterness. I didn't always embrace the rough stuff and I certainly can't claim laughter but I grew. My marriage became stronger. My faith became stronger.
I am still [learning to] LAUGH but a new season is upon me.....
A season of REST.

I admit that I am hesitant to share my thoughts of full nights of sleep. Sleeping in on Saturdays. Afternoon naps in the sunshine. I am bone-weary and the thought of rest invokes in me desires of deep slumber. 
though, it doesn't have to be all sleep....
Hot chocolate and a blanket snuggled up with a good book. Lounging in hammocks enjoying my backyard. Downton Abbey dates with my son. Evening worship with my kidlets. Mini vacations with my beloved.
If only that were it. I have a feeling that my anticipation of rest isn't all there is to this word for me this year.
I am claiming the following verses for 2015:
Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him. 
Psalm 62:5
Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
Psalm 91:1

Often, I will quietly choose a verse for my family for the year. One I pray through and think on and anticipate for them. I rarely share that verse but this year's verse encompasses both Leo and my words for the year so I have shared it with the children and we are memorizing it. You are welcome to join us
The fruit of that righteousness 
will be peace;
    its effect will be
 quietness and confidence
forever.
 My people will live in 
peaceful dwelling places,
    in secure homes,
    in undisturbed places of 
rest.
Isaiah 32:17&18

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I am the very blessed wife of my best friend. The humble mother of five precious children. Walking a life-road that is more amazing than I could ever imagine.
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