Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Choose

Yesterday morning a friend prayed for me. He spoke words that spoke to my heart.

"Help Marnie to choose rest."

A simple sentence. 5 words. But the volumes spoken in that moment......

I know that I choose to love and I choose my words and I choose my attitude but I honestly believed that "rest" just happened. It never occurred to me.

I can CHOOSE rest.

and I can choose NOT to rest.

Anyone who knows me, knows that more often I choose not to rest. I choose busy-ness, full days and nights and weekends. I am afraid of missing out on something - like being excluded from the fun or missing connecting with someone special. So I choose to say "yes" to every invitation and often every suggestion that comes my way.

If I can manage it, I will be there. And, sometimes, even if I can't manage it, I will still be there. 

But something has to give. Someone loses out. Sometimes that's my kids missing "mumma" -time or my husband giving up "our" time. My being THERE means I am missing being HERE, in this moment.

Mostly though, it is me missing sleep, missing peace and missing time with those whom I love more than life.

A conversation I had this morning gave me a second pause. (You know one of those where you think "okay, is God trying to tell me something?")

"Why do you keep yourself so busy?!"

My friend asked an innocent question. There was no ulterior motive. No guilt intended. 

But I had to stop and think.

Why DO I keep myself so busy?

After some thought I responded,

"Hmmmm, well, I have a hard time saying "no". I don't like to miss out on anything and the next thing I know our calendar is completely full. It was interesting yesterday, my co-worker prayed that I would "choose rest" and I realize that I do have a choice. So this season I am learning to guard my time and my rest. I think that the Lord went before me a kept my calendar clear because I wouldn't have done that on my own. It is a good way for me to transition into this season of rest."

I am so excited to have some time unfilled, No pressure to do anything. No clock ticking down to my next commitment. Taking time to breathe in and be in the moment. 

So, today, I choose to be here and present.

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About Me

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I am the very blessed wife of my best friend. The humble mother of five precious children. Walking a life-road that is more amazing than I could ever imagine.
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