I had the privilege of sharing some thoughts at a baby shower a couple of months ago. I think the message is one that I need to be reminded of regularly so I thought I would share them.
- teenagers
are much less inclined toward spirituality than were teens a dozen years ago
- teenagers
today seem much less inclined to have spiritual conversations about their faith
in Christ with non-believers
- studies
indicate that 40 percent to 50 percent of all youth group graduates fail to
stick with their faith or connect with a faith community after high school.
- 6 in 10 people born between 1984 and
2002 (the Millennials) that grew up in a Christian home will walk away from
their faith.
- Only ¼ of
18-29 year olds are practicing Christians (attending church at least 1x per
month). (most evangelical churches I know wouldn't even consider that “practicing”
– I wonder what percentage attend church 1x/week?)
To address growing and concerning trends, Ken Ham has written Already Gone – “Why your kids will quit church and what you can do to
stop it.”
So you may
be wondering why I am talking to you about teenagers and young adults, when you've just added a beautiful baby to your family and your other
children are so young.
I am sure
that you have often heard that you should enjoy this time because it goes so fast – it’s
true it does go fast…WAY too fast. But when
we are in the midst of
the diapers
and
nursing or bottles
and
crying
and
the never ending dependence
we sometimes long for the next stage.
And
when they are
little and
learning
and
need help with everything
from
washing hands
to
wiping bottoms
to
math and spelling
and
we long for respite in what comes next.
And
when we have
to deal
with growth spurts
and
hormone changes
and
attitudes
that make you
wonder what happened to that sweet child from yesterday.
Don’t wish this stage
away.
Our children are on loan to us for a very short period of time and we
have a job to do.
Enjoy the gift and the blessing of these days and these
stages and use what God has given you to fulfill His call on your life to
instill into their lives.
These are
the years that we have to invest and instill into our children’s lives.
According to a national survey from the Search Institute measuring the top five people with the
most significant religious influence through the teen years –
the number one
influence
averaging at about 75%
is….
MOM
.......followed by dad in the low 50
percentile.
(I noted that the church influences – pastor/elder/SS teacher/camp counselor – all are around 20-25%. This doesn't negate the Body of Christ - we are called to encourage one another. To train. To teach. To gather. So even if you have no children or are before or beyond the child raising years, I am still speaking to you!)
I strongly
believe that the relationship that we build during the childhood years sustains
our children during the transitional teens and further carries over into a
strong influence in the young adult years. This time is crucial for their growth
and development and laying a foundation for our children in their spiritual
walk.
The Great
Commission in Matthew 28:19-20 says:
Therefore go and make disciples of
all nations,
baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the
Holy Spirit,
and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.
When we read
this verse often think of missions trips and third world countries where they
don’t have to deal with the Polar vortex.
A vacation in the sunny south spreading a little of the Good News sounds
nice but could I challenge you that the “nations” aren't just a continent away
but are right outside your bedroom door? (Potentially banging at the most
inopportune moments..... but there they are the nations of whom we are called to
make disciples).
It is easy
to get caught up in:
the shopping
and
the bill paying
and
the laundry
and
the
cleaning
and
the providing for
and
the just doing of the “stuff”
(don’t get me
wrong clean underwear and hydro with which to do said cleaning are crucial)
We can so fill our hours that we lose track of what is important.
And even
with what is important we can fill our time so full of every meeting and Bible
study and Christian service activity. We can cram our “extra hours” with good
spiritual activities that we lose sight of what is important. We see this in
the story of Mary and Martha. Martha was busy doing – I am sure she was a
wonderful cook and her home was well cared for but she was missing out on the
communion with her Lord.
Attending the meetings of the assembly are good and
important we are told not to forsake the gathering together of ourselves.
Using
the gifts God has given us IS important but all of these things CANNOT be at
the expense of our own spiritual walk and the relationships with our spouse and
our children.
WE have a
duty to preach the gospel to our children.
At the end of the day, if I fail to
introduce my children to the Saviour, I have failed.
I want to take a moment to
clarify because I want to be sure that no one hears judgement in my words.
I
have heard from many sources “God doesn't have grandchildren”. This is true. Our
children will not inherit our salvation or ride into heaven on our coattails.
We
cannot force our children to believe - to choose to become followers of Christ.
They can repeat a prayer and it mean nothing.
I remember when my girls were
little overhearing an eager McKenna threatening Braelyn with consequences if
she didn't repeat “the prayer”. Mc understood salvation was important but didn't yet understand that it is more than words. Matthew 12:34 says
"Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."
We can only introduce them to
the Lord but we cannot force a friendship.
We can encourage them in their walk but we cannot walk it for them.
They are responsible with what they
choose and they will stand before Him to give their own account. We will give our account. Will it be wood, hay and stubble - the non eternal or gold, silver and precious stones...eternal investments.
We need not to
hold onto guilt but only to be faithful.
Deuteronomy 11:18-20
says
Fix these
words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and
bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them
when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and
when you get up. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your
gates,
It isn't a
daily check list:
- Framed
Scripture verse in every room…..................................CHECK
- Read a verse
over breakfast…(in between yelling about the spilled milk and the need to get
teeth brushed)….................................................................CHECK
- Listened to
Adventures in Odyssey in the car…..................................CHECK
- Prayed over
all our meals out-loud(even the ones in public….woohoo getting a little
radical)…….................................................................CHECK
- Another car
ride oooooh! We can mix it up with some Christian music……BONUS CHECK for each
additional trip
- Bedtime
prayers and even possibly a devotion story….................................CHECK
Certainly
sending your child to a Christian School deserves some extra CHECKS for expense
and homeschooling deserves some for the sacrifice of time and sanity.
rather this
is a way of life. God’s Word should be so indwelt in our minds and hearts that it
naturally pours out in what we say and how we live.
There is a
saying that is commonly attributed to Saint Frances of Assisi – he didn't actually say it but I think the saying has some merit.
“Preach Christ always,
use words if you must.”
I have heard that saying denounced by believers. I
understand. We ARE to PREACH Christ. We often hear another saying that we
accept more readily “actions speak louder than words”. If my preaching of
Christ and the sharing of my faith isn't supported by the life I lead – even in
the safety and comfort of my own home, where I am more real than anywhere else
on earth - then there is a problem. And the people who see that disconnect more
than anyone, are my husband and my children.
I am not
perfect. WE are not perfect but I think we often get so focused on what is on the
outside, what people see, that we don’t focus on the inside and what truly matters.
One of the
recent speakers said
"If we are only raising our children to be obedient we are
raising Pharisees.”
Obedience is important but a heart surrendered to Christ is
more important. Out of that heart flows true obedience.
If I wear a
head covering in meeting but have a rebellious un-submitted spirit – it is just
a piece of cloth.
“As parents we pass on things to our
children every day. They’re watching us, learning from us and emulating us. The
question is not ARE we passing things on to our children but what are we
passing on to our children?”
Dr. David
Anderson once asked a group of parents
“How many of you wish your teenager had
a stronger faith?”
every hand in the room went up. He then made a comment that
I’ll never forget. He said,
“While it’s good that everyone desires that our
teenagers have a stronger faith,. The truth is that what we see in our
teenagers’ faith is a mirror image of our own faith. So the issue is not their
faith but your faith.”
I don’t
think it is ever too late to grow in your faith and influence your children but
I think that growing your walk with the Lord in a vibrant and living, visible
relationship is the best foundation and example that you can provide your
children. Your life as an offering supporting the gospel that you are preaching
to the nations within your reach –that is a fulfillment of the Great commission
and the call on your life to raise up your children.
May God richly bless you as you reflect Him to your children in your marriage and your home.
